Music for Imaginary Films

A CD by Arling & Cameron  with LINER NOTES AND POSTER COPY by Steve Korver and POSTER DESIGNS by Joost Swarte, 75B, Mevis & Van Deursen, Greet Egbers, Dept, Piet Schreuders, Jan Bons, Floor Koomen and Goodwill.

 

Le Flic en la Fille (1968)
“…A certain aesthetic vertigo may wash over contemporary viewers as they suck back the funk-propelled opening sequence of this Alain Delon vehicle. Our media soaked brains have been trained to expect a pimped up Cadillac convertible torqueing through the streets of Harlem; but instead we witness a ragged Delon – who by this time was no longer the mere object of lingering camera shots on his crotch – leaving behind a trail of squeezed off Citroen DS’s as he careens through the streets of Paris (or should it be Marseilles?). Musicologists – most probably whiteass ones – cite this film’s soundtrack as the missing link between John Barry’s earlier compositions for Beat Girl AKA Wild for Kicks (1960) and the later blaxploitation soundtracks of Isaac Hayes and Melvin Van Peebles. This particular cinematic artefact – file under nouvellevagueploitation – has Delon playing Marc Stefovic as the tough cop who uses the last few golden shimmers left on his heart to fall for a night-club singer. In his attempts to de-fatale this femme, he ends up being dragged into a world that begins with sex, drugs, and gangsters and ends in the bed of some very prominent and very right wing French political figures…”    [Poster design by Joost Swarte]

 

1999 Space Club (1979)
“…Imagine yourself being projected as a hologram to a night-club circling the earth where you could then indulge in an evening of celestial delight and virtual carnality. To late ‘70s Hollywood, the concept seemed sound: a television series that fused Love Boat romance with Battlestar Galactica special effects. Lucien Samaha, an art director who had made his name designing the club sequences for Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, was called in to develop a feature length pilot which would introduce viewers to a glittering world where HO-Js (holographic DJs) provided the soundtrack – a ‘Studio 54 in Space’, as it were. While pirated video copies of this now hopelessly obscure pilot are highly prized among kitsch aficionados, it’s the theme song – with its eerie foreshadowing of such modern dance variants as Drum ‘n’ Bass – which does the superior job of evoking the 1999 as we know it. Perhaps with this release, a cartel of party organizers will be inspired to band together to save the Mir Space Station from it’s seemingly imminent doom…”   [Poster design by 75B]

 

W.E.E.K.E.N.D. (1973)
“…As one of the more blatant examples of cultural denial, this television pilot set in early ’70s San Francisco could be more aptly titled ‘W.H.I.T.E.W.A.S.H.’. The story follows the high jinx weekend adventures of a group of teen students who are living away from home for the first time and whose idea of a good time makes the Brady Bunch look like pack of drooling crackheads. They live in a universe where one smells neither a hippy nor a whiff of anything that does not evoke good clean hetero fun. One is quick to suspect that the city’s elite Moron Minority – armed with the belief that The Mamas and the Papas weren’t already watered down enough – supplied the production funds. But much is forgiven by the sheer pop punchiness of the title track, bouncing as it does with the zest of pure innocence…”   [Poster design by Mevis & Van Deursen]

 

Hashi the Drug Sniffing Canine (1975)
“…Contrary to wishes of the show’s painfully naive creators, Hashi never joined the Lassie sweepstakes to become the dog icon of the ’70s. In fact, the only entertaining thing about this television pilot which tells the tale of a JFK airport sniff dog, is the title track and its trippy descent into cosmic maelstrom. Plot-wise, it was meant to depict Hashi’s moral confusion brought about by being suddenly confronted by his much beloved former master, a once sweet boy now turned smuggling adult. Predictably the movie ends with Hashi squealing on him, but the musical subtext makes clear that the happily subversive composer had other things on his mind — namely that Hashi had had a sniff too much and was tripping like some crazed bitch in heat…”   [Poster design by Greet Egbers]

 

Let’s Get Higher (1989)
“…Many may assume that a film on the last days of Disco would deal with the personal breakdowns and deaths incurred from promiscuity and drugs. However, the charm of this documentary lies in the fact that it also investigates the smaller, more banal, accidents and tragedies which eventually forced adherents to find an alternative to their alternative lifestyles. Viewers are allowed entrance into the worlds inhabited by: a man who caught a flesh-eating microbe from his salami prosthetic, an amputee whose limb was lost when overly tight pants restricted the blood flow, and an aphasic woman who woke up speaking Swedish after being hit by a flailing arm on the dance floor (the ubiquitous Dr. Oliver Sacks being on hand to provide some startling insights)…”   [Poster design by Dept]

 

Milano Cool (1969)
“…‘Solving Crime… and lookin’ mighty fine’ sums it up: an American packs in his livelihood as private detective to go to Italy to seek fulfillment to his dream of becoming a clothes designer. Unfortunately events conspire against our somewhat schmucky but always suave hero, and he is forced back into the dick trade. A certain po-mo brand of hilarity can be gleaned from the film’s many continuity problems brought on by the fact it was filmed during Italy’s hottest summers on record. Shirts subtly change shade and lapels grow and shrink as our hero endlessly walks like some funked up Strut-asaurus Rex through the streets of Milan in search of clues. Film buffs probably already know that Tarantino’s Jackie Brown, while obviously paying homage to the vintage cop shows of the 70s, derived much from this film, particularly as a character study where talk, charm and consummate style provided the real action…”   [Poster design by Piet Schreuders]

 

New Day (1951)
“…with hindsight through jade(d)-tinted glasses being 20/20, modern folks naturally scoff at the concept of a three hour musical based on the teachings of Norman Vincent Peale and his ‘Power of Positive Thinking’. Leavened as it was with lashings of sacchrinated syrup, it was inevitable – even in 1951 – that a Broadway production of New Day: We’re So Happy! would die before it even hit the boards. The musical would have most certainly remained buried and forgotten had it not been for an Atlanta R&B recording duo scoring a modest hit in 1999 with a mutated version of what was supposed to be the show-stopper, ‘New Day’. With the further revelation that the Ren & Stimpy catchphrase ‘HappyHappyJoyJoy’ was actually lifted from another of this musical’s song titles (an affiliate of the show had picked up a dog-eared set of production notes complete with poster mock-up at a garage sale), enough interest was generated to result in current plans to stage a revised interpretation, New Day: We’re So Fucking Happy!…”   [Poster design by Jan Bons]

 

Zona Sul (1995)
“…A quality soap operatic film from Brazil? Shocking but true… Like the deep resonance of a Brazilian samba – or a cuppa fresh roast coffee for that matter – this example of contra-tropicalist film-making literally seethes with sophistication. While following genre code (the infidelities are intemperate, the coincidences inconceivable and the revenge exact), it’s the multifaceted performance of Carmen Miranda’s daughter Maria that holds the story together. She evidently learned from the tragedy of her talented mother’s Hollywood stereotyping as Miss Frutti-Tutti and created a character of depth and passion. The part was obviously written for her (the script being peppered with her character’s steadfast refusal to drink any cocktail that smacks of citrus, and always opting instead for a martini “dry…as dry as the sands…”)…”   [Poster design by Floor Koomen]

 

Space Beach (1968)
“…While sharing genre (Science Fiction) and release date (1968) with Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, the tragically under-rated film Space Beach preferred to thematically explore the future of sensuality over that of technology. Situated on a utopian planet where daily life is infused with peace, glee and harmony, the inhabitants have evolved the contrasting habit of choosing vacation destinations based on their suitability for melancholic introspection. The theme song’s use of theremin calls forth such a place: a barren beach where hazy red colors dance and contort to the setting of twin suns…”   [Poster design by Mevis & Van Deursen]

 

Herrmann (1983)
“…Music and story attempted to fuse in this flawed cinematic experiment which sought to pay ultimate tribute to the blistering Hitchcock soundtracks of Bernard Herrmann. But no number of his trademark contrasts and flourishes, can save the Repulsion-on-acid story-line which doggedly observes a loner (yes, his name is Herrmann as well) in a constant state of facial flux as he does inner-battle with a variety of religious, gender and control issues. However, the film has endured as a cult due to the mass of literature it has accumulated from the hands of German film critics bent with Cabalistic obsession. The title alone has filled tomes of speculation. Ignoring it as a mere tribute or even as a clear allusion to gender conflict, certain conspiracy logicians see the title as representative of the teetering duality of the character who has as his component parts: a ‘Herr’ (represented in the music as the bombastic and pompous percussion and horn) and a plain ‘Mann’ (heard as the cautiously tiptoeing and vaguely paranoiac piano). The swooping theremin – or [t]herr[a]mann, as they like to point out – darting as it does between these musical themes, would be representative of the inner-conflict itself…”   [Poster design by Goodwill]

 

Shiva’s Daughters (1970)
“…A classic case of cultural appropriation or should we say blatant plagiarism? Aaron Spelling: you are so busted… A delight for Connoisseurs of Camp, this is the Bollywood classic used as the initial inspiration for the television series Charlie’s Angels. Shiva, as the Charlie prototype, has a busy day job as Creator/Destroyer of the universe and leaves most of the fighting of evil to his three daughters who are helped along by his able intermediary Boswalla. Armed with only their wits and loaded lingamatics, our heroines manage to take care of a rampaging tiger, a nasty blue serpent and an malodorous dwarf. But unlike pool-side Charlie, Shiva does make a spectacular appearance at the film’s conclusion to dance his cosmic dance and to kick some serious heretical rishi butt. Indeed: ‘many arms make light work’…”   [Poster design by Dept]

 

The Only Guy (1955)
“…With ‘Hollywood Looks At Itself’ films (Barton Fink, The Player, Ed Wood, etc.) established as a genre, it’s surprising that the story behind this long suppressed and short-lived television series has not yet been adapted to the big screen – the line between absurdity and tragedy has never been more razor fine. The show’s formula, with the main character (played by actor Fred MacMurray’s twin brother Martin) as the last man on post-apocalyptic Earth who plucks his ukulele on a rainy beach and opens his heart to a different animal each episode, came from necessity: each animal mysteriously died at the end of the shooting day. It was only when MacMurray himself died halfway through the season, forcing the show’s cancellation, that the producers sought to seek an explanation. It turned out that the culprit was the show’s main ‘gimmick’: namely, the X-Ray camera it was shot with. Except for a few obscure Mexican snuff films (most notable: Feast of the Dead II: The Pinata Unmasked), this was the last time this dubious technology was used…”   [Poster design by Joost Swarte]

 

*******

the HYPE

“…They’re amazing zeitgeist-mimics, and were that not enough, the disc is loaded with brilliant, bogus blurbs and poster art for these fantasy flicks, fortifying the mini-mythology they’ve manufactured…” – Montreal Mirror

“…The liner notes, masterfully written by expatriate Canadian Steve Korver, allude to the theme song’s ‘eerie foreshadowing of such modern dance variants as drum ‘n’ bass,’ furthering the illusion that these soundtracks are part of some large-scale revision of musical history…” – EYE

“…Music For Imaginary Films, puts the cart before the horse in that respect, creating a variety of alarmingly plausible film scenarios for which the pair provide suitably authentic music…And that inspired Steve Korver, the guy who wrote the liner notes, to go on about the cabalistic connotations of the title…” – Splendid

“…The disc is a well-realized package, complete with miniature reproductions of movie posters (each created by a differant party for stylistic variety), complete with evocative liner notes, written by Steve Korver…” – Retroactive

“…The liner notes are exquisite, showcasing art and storylines from faux films that thematically run the gamut from French new wave cinema (Le Flic et la Fille) to campy Bollywood glitz (Shiva’s Daughters). An ambitious project, to say the least…” – Windsor Star

“…The liner notes themselves are worth buying the CD for…” – Alaska Sun Star

“…The liner notes are as entertaining as the tunes, and the tunes are all impossibly catchy. A must-buy…” – North Shore News

“…And a round of applause, please, for Steve Korver’s super-visionary liner notes to these nonexistent flicks…” – Detroit Metro Times

“…contains delicious posters for each of the movies, along with plot summaries and mini-reviews of every flick. Beautifully penned by Steve Korver, they’re just convincing enough to avoid falling into dull parody, yet still massively amusing… As a package, it’s fantastic…” – Wiseacre

“…Dankzij de bijgevoegde filmposters en synopsissen overstijgen deze nummers de status van `herkenningsdeuntje’ van bestaande filmgenres. De synopsissen zijn goed geschreven geestige parodieën, de posters fraai en erg goed qua diversiteit in stijl…” – Writers Block Magazine

“…Steve Korver’s razor-sharp movie synopses in the liner notes provide insight into twisting plots, summarizing the complex characters trapped in simple worlds…” – Dinomentia