Steve Korver » Lost Gravity: It’s a rollercoaster out there, people

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Lost Gravity: It’s a rollercoaster out there, people

The Netherlands’ largest attraction park Walibi has just opened its latest extreme rollercoaster: Lost Gravity.

I helped with the ride’s background story and wrote the texts for the short films meant to entertain those waiting in line for their one-minute of heart attack.

I also resurrected my nemesis Tad Waterson to play the anchorman. I had killed him off years ago in a tragic hammock accident after I began resenting the fact that this half-assed alter-ego of mine began to get more Facebook friends than my own carefully nurtured and calibrated personal brand. Boy, did I hate Tad. But I’ve done some growing up in recent times and have now decided to take the high road and let bygones are bygones… And thanks to the audio-visual artistry of Arjan Beurskens of This is Taped and creative consulting from J-PECH, Tad is actually looking pretty darn good.

Anyway… The films will apparently be playing on a loop for the next 10-15 years — but not being made available online. So I made a short comic book summary below. Put on your seat belts and enjoy.

“We have a report from some tin can of a country in Europe somewhere. Denmark or something? Wait, what’s that? A bird? A plane? A meteor? Whatever it is, it looks like a definite something from somewhere…”

“Hey, I wonder what Van Gogh would have done with this landscape?”

“But Amsterdam still looks pretty much as I remember it from visiting in my student days… Ah, those were wild times indeed…”

“But what the hell is happening now?!?! The phenomenon seems to be spreading…”

“Isn’t that New York? Aren’t we in New York?”

“People! We need some answers, people!”

“Okay, authorities are telling us to stay calm. If you’re home, stay home. Preferably in a rubber room if you have one… The key is to stay calm. So everyone stay fucking calm!”